🌸 Chapter 5 — Taking Responsibility for Our Feelings

From “you make me feel” to “I feel because I need” 💭

“Human beings are not disturbed by things, but by the way they see them.” — Epictetus

💬 Four Ways to Receive a Negative Message

1️⃣ Blaming Ourselves

We believe we’re responsible for the other person’s discomfort: “I’m selfish,” “I should’ve done better.” This option feeds guilt and weakens self-esteem.

2️⃣ Blaming the Other

We react with anger: “You’re the problem!” We fall into a spiral of defense and attack.

3️⃣ Connecting with Ourselves

We identify our emotions and needs: “I feel hurt because I need recognition.” We reclaim our inner power.

4️⃣ Connecting with the Other

We listen to their feelings and needs: “Are you feeling frustrated because you want to be acknowledged?” We create empathy and mutual understanding.

💞 From Emotional Slavery to Emotional Freedom

1️⃣ Emotional Slavery

We believe we are responsible for others’ feelings. We live to please and fear disappointing them.

2️⃣ The “Unsympathetic” Stage

We realize we can’t live enslaved, but we still don’t know how to care for our needs without closing ourselves to others’ needs.

3️⃣ Emotional Freedom

We recognize that everyone is responsible for their own emotions. We act out of compassion, not guilt or fear. Inner freedom is born.

💡 When we take responsibility for our feelings, we stop reacting and begin responding with awareness. 🌼

✨ Go to the Chapter 5 Quiz
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